Porn... where's the line

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil 4v8

Objectifying another person (male or female) hurts the viewer. It may well have effects on the person of object also but it shifts the viewers perception of the world. Just like prejudice. By definition prejudice doesn’t have to affect another person... once it becomes an action against another person it becomes an ‘ism’ - racism, sexism, ageism. Once you have influence over another person you are racist, sexist, ageist, and you have power to hurt another person. It’s the same with sexual objectification. Objectifying another person may not hurt that person, watching porn, using the image of another person for personal gratification, thinking about them sexually but it affects the viewer. Once it becomes an unwanted action its abuse. But just as prejudice affects the holder of the prejudice, objectification also affects the person with those attitudes. It comes down to how you respect all people.

If I only see that person as a hot body, or use their image to produce the right effect in me (like a drug) - Is that bad? Maybe not, but is it good? Is it negative? Maybe not. But is it positive, productive, promotive? Will it produce good things or bad things?

‘The line’ ofcourse is the ten commandments, the ‘thou shalt nots’ the do nots, the rules, the boundaries, the bottom lines. As long as I avoid the commandments can I live a good life? Does the absence of bad equal the presence of good. No it doesn’t. Jesus came to fulfil the law – to fulfil the rules by promoting life. He gave us a model of how to live, not just what to avoid. Instead of following the rules, following the guidelines of a positive existence.

Looking at any human as just one thing (a brain, a body) affects the viewer. It may well disrespect them but what is even more important is what it does to us, it shifts our assessment of value, respect, humanity. We as humans have a tendency to use people, for employment, for sex, for service, for projects, to meet our needs, and need s are subjective (ie fetishes, attractions to children etc). That’s why the law is such a cornerstone of our society, because we need so many rules so we don’t overuse people or take advantage of them. (Many just manage to use and take advantage of the law however).

But God made us that way. He made us for relationship with himself and with each other. Many of our negative human interactions with each other are maladpations of innate and divine need for relationship. God made us who we are, not what we are. He made us to be seen to be valued, loved, adored, cherished.

Is it ok for me to use that person’s image to meet my sexual needs? Maybe, but what does it do to me, does it meet my need for intimacy? Does it meet my need for relationship? Does it respect that person for who they really are? Do I even see who they really are? Have I reduced them down to an object rather than a divine creation with so much to offer this world. The far reaching effects of objectification are rampant. We see children internalising what the world tells them; dumb, dramatic, intelligent, sporty. If the world says it’s ok to be an object, then many will internalise this. How else can the porn industry survive?
If I am willing to objectify that one person that makes it ok for all people to objectify one person. That’s a lot of people in the world who have been reduced to an object. Many of those people will start to believe that that is all they are; reducing their abilities and value in the world, they will stop believing that they have anything to offer this world except visual stimulation. The world needs more people who believe in themselves, who think that being used is not ok, never ok. We have so much to offer. If we are talking about women especially, women have so much to offer but the truth of the matter is that women the world over are being used. Used as objects, as servants, for sex. For me, it’s not ok to use anyone for anything. Because if I say it’s ok here in my corner of the world, then where’s the line.

If the world was right, and all people, women specifically were using their true gifts to contribute to the world, there would definitely be sexual art. The body is beautiful, exquisite, divine. The effect to the viewer would be appreciation, love, honour, respect, desire.

But there would not be porn for pure gratification, that produces greed disrespect, distortion. Today my prayer is for all the girls who have looked in the mirror after a days working on set having sex with a man she probably doesn’t love, or worse she does, in front of a room full of people orchestrating her sexuality, and wondered why she feels so lost. I pray for her to be aware of a creator God who made her for relationship with Him and with others. I pray that she finds the respect for herself to move on and want something more. To be something more.