Unfathomable wisdom

Being a parent offers me endless opportunities to learn more about who God is.  One such teaching moment involved both of my 9 year old sons.  One son filled his mouth so full of muffin that he gagged.  We had friends over so he had a number of bystanders, who also looked quite anxious.  He looked terrified and I had to run around the kitchen bench to try and assist him, but as I reached him he spluttered and the offending morsel fell from his mouth.  He looked as though he was about to cry but instead said something in relief that was quite funny.  The whole room laughed taking this sensitive wee man by surprise, and then did start to cry as he thought everyone was laughing at him.  I turned to embrace him and reassure of this – explain how sometimes people’s reactions are confusing and that his friends had laughed in relief, not at his misfortune.  We often do this for our children - build scaffolding around their misunderstanding; try to explain the confusing world around them in ways that meets them where they are at.  Human interactions and emotions can be particularly difficult to navigate – parents offer much needed frameworks for their children to work in.  Little man number one seemed appeased.   However, little man number two; his brother, my son stepped in at that point and for some reason, felt the need to defend his brother, thinking I had done him an injustice, and pointed out that I had in some way said (and always say – he accused) the wrong thing.  Now twins often give parents challenging situations in terms of fairness, equity, doing the right thing when each child needs a different ‘right’ thing.  It’s true of all siblings, but twins have their own unique nuances.  Equal does not always mean fair.  Being seen to be fair is also not always the same as being fair. 

I smiled indulgently at his 9 year old view of the situation.  He didn’t see what I, the mother saw.  He failed to see the embarrassment of his brother the same way I did and misjudged my response to it, or maybe he did see the embarrassment of his brother and felt my response was inappropriate.   I looked at this little boy like Goliath looked at David, amused by his outburst.  In the same moment I was both confused by his interpretation of the situation, but impressed by his boldness against this perceived injustice.  He is nine, he still idolises me.  He can still be reduced to a blithering mess by a stern word from me.  At that moment, my reaction could have crushed him.  [it didn’t – no children were emotionally damaged in the making of this blog].  I imagine that his comment was an immediate reaction and not well thought through.  I suspect his courage in that moment (that also enables him to sport a rat’s tail in the face of some pretty strong adult opposition and teasing) will both serve him well and get him in to trouble.  
  
Aren’t we like this with God?  I am sure God smiles indulgently at our immature understandings of His nature at times; His motivations, His wisdom that we don’t fathom.  Humans question Him constantly.  “God, why did you let this happen or that happen, make me like this, allow wars, hunger, poverty?”  In the book Crazy Love, Francis Chan flips these questions, and wonders if God is asking that of us “Considering who I am, all I have created, all I have sacrificed, all I have given you in this beautiful world with its resources and abundance, why do you allow poverty, war, destruction, hatred, abuse...?”   I can see this thinking reflected in loving families where children have received every available love and resource and opportunity, and still abuse themselves, live selfishly, become damaged and don’t live up to their own potential.  God has given us so much, what is our response?  To question?  To struggle and rage against our circumstances, or what?  To honour, to love, to respect, to give and sacrifice relentlessly for God and man, to give wholeheartedly and love unconditionally?  This is what we have been given, right?  Do we give it back?

With the little understanding I have been given of the nature of God and his love towards me; a love that paid the ultimate price, I pray for His scaffolding to surround my place of immature understanding, as I grow in understanding. 

My girl friend who was there at the time, only just hid her amusement and now continually ribs me for not getting anything right (according to nine year old wisdom) just to keep me humble.  I think I will print it on a t-shirt one day.